25 February 2006
 
This will be my last entry for about a month, as I don't expect to have email again until the 31st of March.  Also, it won't be what I'd hoped it would be about -- abortion and the consequences of it being illegal here (a timely issue given current dakota legislation -- people need to understand that abortion being illegal does nothing to stop the practice but only causes more debilitation, sterility and death in the world) and a little about the people and recent events in village.  Me, my lack of patience with dishonesty, arrogance & stealing, along with my don't-give-me-that-bullshit attitude has stirred some things up -- which is probably good --, but my sometimes blatant lack of tact & politesse in expressing this has created an enemy.  I tried to be tactful but he pissed me off.  So far, however, everyone else involved in the issue seems to be "on my side" as it were, and reassured me that I was justified in my reaction.  It's not over yet, though, and we have yet to say how he plays his next hand. 
 
Anyway, we all just got a memo re what we can and cannot talk about due to privacy and the image of PC and the govt, and I hadn't realized that I'm not even supposed to mention the name of my village let alone people's names in village.  I haven't read it yet, just heard snippets, but I obviously haven't been following the rules, so I want to read it thoroughly before posting any more details of my work and life in village.
 
Also, before I forget, I wanted to apologize in advance for all the emails I didn't get to respond to this weekend, and to all the other people I wanted to write to, not only this weekend, but many weekends before.  It really is a bitch to use computers here -- this is my 5th hour and 3rd computer here today, I keep getting kicked off the server, and I haven't even been able to finish the work I came here to do.  On top of that, I always have a bunch of other errands to accomplish while I'm in town.  So… sorry!  I want to keep the recipient list relatively small because it can sometimes cause problems otherwise and I am counting on people forwarding these emails (like sister forwarding them on to other family members & friends of family), and that they get posted on the site.
 
Briana, loved your email, it made me laugh out loud!  Jessica, forgot to say Yes, anytime you want to visit, come on over!  I'll be going to Morocco in July with family, and to Mali in January with Kath, but otherwise I'm here.  If we have camps or other projects going on, I don't think it makes a difference -- we'll just have you join in probably.  If any Orionites can locate Marth, tell her yes I'm here!  Jeremy, it was great to hear from you too, and Dann you've been forwarding all these to him, I think so thanks!  Please let Paul know I got his message, and why I'm gonna have you keep forwarding messages to him (because I know you're good about it).  Auntie Karen, got one of your packages and have never been so happy to see notebooks and nice pens, and everything seems to have come through unscathed tho it was clear they'd opened it cuz it was so covered in tape I couldn't even tell who it was from.  Thank you!  and love & kisses.  I've never seen so many m&m's. 
 
Otherwise, in response to the many concerned friends and family asking how I am dealing with the bug issue here, knowing my fear of spiders, I wanted to reassure you that I'm mostly okay in that regard.
 
There aren't too many big awful spiders, though there are plenty of them in general, and the few big awful ones have made me scream like a little baby and go running for the insecticide and a blunt object.  Thank god I'm not afraid of reptiles, I often tell myself, because there are some very very large lizards and they love to run around on the walls of my shower and latrine, hopefully running after and catching very very large insects.  I would like them to work harder at that, but I shudder to think what I'd be dealing with if they weren't there.  They must be eating pretty heartily because they leave their droppings all over the place.  They refuse to respect my american-given right to a clean shower and toilet.  But, whatever, at least they don't dive-bomb me like the ridiculously pissy black wasps do.  They are as big as dragonflies, and insist on building many little sticky mud nests in there, which I was fine with until they started attacking me in my own space, for fear I'm coming after their brood evidently!  So we've begun to battle, and it hasn't been pretty.  I kill them every chance I get now, and destroy the nests that look new or otherwise in use, but they don't take kindly to that, and find ways to ambush me when I least expect it.  The scariest moments being when I'm washing my hair and thus must close my eyes at intervals, or in the middle of wrestling with a giant spider that just won't die even after being soaked with insecticide -- I know the thing will eventually die, but I can't take my eyes off it until I'm sure, and even when it finally drops defeated to the floor, I will still hit it with the blunt object to be extra sure.  The wasps wait for these moments and they KNOW, and while my eyes are fixed on the 8-legged vampire, or closed with soap and shampoo all over me, I will here their ominous deep buzz around my head.  Little bastards.  It's not my bloody fault you decided to build in my latrine.  I talk out loud to all of them, as I make a Lara Croft move to fend off the vampire with a sandle in one hand while twisting to shoot insecticide at the wasp flying by with the other hand.  I do not feel guilty about my use of insecticide.  I do feel foolish that whenever I enter my latrine, I kick the door open and stand back a moment, a broom in hand, and then brush away any potential spiderwebs before ducking my head in to see if any wasps are waiting.  I never ever enter my latrine first thing in the morning without my broom (a bunch of thin sticks tied together).  No matter the urgency, I absolutely must sweep away every possible strand of web in front of me and above me before reaching the toilet 15 feet in.  It's pathetic, but I have a phobia, and that's the way it is. 
 
I really do miss my life in Seattle, even if I DO remember feeling very ready for some sort of shake up and a new adventure.  Life was good, and oh so easy, and of course it's not so easy here -- and not just because of the crawly things.  It's not about being unhappy, it's about not yet finding a sense of real happiness and comfort level, which I of course understood wouldn't happen in 5 months, and which I optimistically look forward to.  But there are things I will continue to miss, on top of friends and family, such as a good cup of espresso, a plethora of dining options, and most achingly live music and theatre.  So far the music I've encountered is repetitive & monotonous to my musically untrained ears, and the couple "theatrical" pieces I've seen are not terribly inspired it seems to me.  "Culture" in that sense has not developed any more than infrastructure, but I suppose I should be happy enough that given the monotonous and not terribly inspired daily lives most people here are forced to lead, that they at least give it a try, and find something within themselves to express and to entertain for others.  And, yes, I know I am judging their musical and theatrical efforts from an outsider's perspective.  I know it's a hoot for them, and I can tell it speaks to their experience and perspective of the world, because the audience always seems to love it, whether it's a funeral gathering, a church choir and drumming session, or the stilt festival we saw the other day.  The stilt festival  -- guys on 10 or 12 foot stilts and dressed up in funky costumes and rather creepy masks -- was cool to us americans for about 10 minutes, but then we realized that every troupe was coming out and doing the same moves, and not coordinating them at all with each other (THE dance of this country -- or at least my region -- is something very similar to the chicken dance, and doesn't vary far from it for very long), and each troupe's attending group of women and drummers sounded essentially the same as well, and no different than what we always hear.  Only one troupe varied it a little, dancing together and telling a story with their movements.  This troupe was from Atakpame, a relatively big town compared to the other towns represented, which helps confirm my suspicion that part of why I don't get much variation in music and theatre is because my small village is just like any other small town in the world, in that the arts aren't as cultivated as, say, the art of surviving on very little.  They've got other things on their minds and the old traditions suit them just fine anyway.  I hope to replace the lack of music with some griots in village, and getting them to tell me some of their stories via a translator.  But that will be later, after I gain some trust I think. 
 
It's now almost 10:00 on Sunday night the 26th, and I'm leaving town in the morning.  I've had a stupid stupid day trying to just do email, and finally had to save this to a floppy disc and come back this eve to send it finally.  But, it somehow makes me feel connected to send these out, even if it will be a month before I even get any messages back -- and so it's worth it to me, no matter how insignificant the content of this particular email is.  I'm sure I'm forgetting to send out important information, such as what I'd really love to get in a package (some of you have asked and i thank you, but it's like when you get to the video store and can't for the life of you remember any of the movies you've been dying to see). 
 
Again, thanks for all your love and support and offers to send me whatever I need.  I'm doing fine, of course, but I do even better hearing from y'all.
 
Love, Laura